Today it’s all about the power of connection.
You know – those moments when you’re laughing so hard with your bestie that your sides hurt, or when you’re getting it all off your chest to your sibling over a cuppa, or even when you’re just texting your group chat about a realisation you’ve just had?
Those aren’t just fun—thexy’re medicine for your heart. As humans (seemingly especially for those of us who are women), we’re natural connectors, weaving webs of friendships, family ties, and community bonds, however in the chaos of life—work, kids, endless to-do lists—we sometimes let those connections slip.
And here’s the kicker – neglecting our social circles doesn’t just make us feel lonely; it can actually hurt our hearts.
Heart disease is the leading cause of death for women, and stress is a major player in that equation, however those strong social connections?…
…they’re like a secret weapon for reducing stress and keeping your ticker strong.
So, settle in with your chosen cuppa and let’s explore why your inner circle, your family, and even your casual kombucha-date pals are vital for your heart health—and how you can nurture those bonds to live a longer, happier life.
The reason that social connections matter for your heart
It’s time to get real – life can be full-on.
Between juggling all the ‘stuff’ of life including deadlines, parenting, or simply attempting to keep up with the laundry, stress can feel like our shadow, following us everywhere.
However here’s where science swoops in with some good news – strong social connections can act like a buffer against stress, and that’s a big deal for our hearts. Chronic stress floods your body with cortisol and adrenaline, hormones that, over time, can raise your blood pressure, increase inflammation, and damage your arteries—increasing heart disease risk.
Interestingly, when you’re surrounded by people who get you, who listen to you, who make you laugh, your body responds differently. Studies, like one from the American Heart Association, show that people with robust social networks have lower levels of stress hormones, better blood pressure control, and even a reduced risk of heart attacks. For women especially, who often carry the emotional load of care giving or multitasking, these connections are like a lifeline.
Whether it’s your partner, your inner circle, or your walking club, these relationships give you a sense of belonging, reduce feelings of isolation, and help your heart stay resilient.
So, next time you’re tempted to cancel that night out with your friends, remember – it’s not just fun—it’s heart medicine.
The biochemistry behind connection and stress relief
Let’s go down that proverbial rabbit hole for a second because the science here is fascinating. When you’re chatting with a friend or hugging a loved one, your brain releases oxytocin—yep, this is the ‘love hormone’ that we associate with cuddling babies or falling in love.
Oxytocin is like a natural stress-buster, calming your nervous system and lowering cortisol levels. A study from the University of California found that women, in particular, benefit from this ‘tend-and-befriend’ response, where we instinctively seek out social support during stressful times, unlike the fight-or-flight response we often hear about. This makes evolutionary sense – as women, we’ve historically relied on community to survive, whether it was raising kids or sharing resources.
Fast-forward to today, and that same instinct kicks in when you call a really good friend after a challenging day or join a yoga class with a group of like-minded peeps. These moments don’t just feel good—they lower your heart rate, ease tension in your blood vessels, and reduce inflammation, all of which protect your heart from the wear and tear of chronic stress.
The bottom line is – when you’re feeling overwhelmed, don’t go it alone—reach out, connect, and let your body do its magic.
How loneliness hurts our hearts
Let’s flip the coin and talk about what happens when you don’t have those connections. Loneliness isn’t just a sad feeling; it’s a health risk, and for women, it’s especially sneaky 1
We might be surrounded by people—co-workers, kids, neighbours—however still feel disconnected if those relationships aren’t meaningful.
Research from the National Institutes of Health shows that loneliness and social isolation are linked to a 26-29% increased risk of heart disease, on par with smoking or obesity.
Really? Sadly, yes.
When you’re lonely, your body stays in a low-grade stress mode, pumping out cortisol and spiking inflammation, which can lead to plaque build up in your arteries over time. Plus, loneliness can make you less likely to eat well, exercise, or even go to the doctor—habits that keep your heart healthy.
The practical takeaway?
Your heart thrives on connection, so even small steps, like joining a club that nourishes a creative interest or texting a friend, can make a big difference.
Building your heart-healthy social network
What can be good ways to strengthen those heart-saving connections?
It’s not about having a million friends or being the life of the party (introverts, I see you!).
It’s about quality, not quantity. Start with the people already in your life—your partner, your family, your co-workers—and make time for meaningful moments. Schedule a weekly cuppa date with a good friend, call a family member for a catch-up, or plan a games night with your kids/nieces/nephews.
If your circle feels small, don’t be afraid to branch out. Join a group that aligns with your passions—maybe a hiking or book club, a yoga or circuit class, or a volunteer stint at your local animal shelter or trap check group.
I started volunteering for a local trap check group a few years ago, and those informative, chatty hikes in nature have become so nourishing, and it’s cup-filling to be making a difference doing my bit to protect the endangered species here in New Zealand.
Pro tip – consistency is key. Make connection a habit, like brushing your teeth, and aim for regular check-ins, whether it’s a quick text or a long cuppa. And don’t underestimate the power of virtual connection—video calls or group chats can keep you close even when life gets busy.
The role of community in our heart health
Can you relate when I say that there’s something magical about being part of a community? Whether it’s your volunteer group, your neighbourhood, or even an online yoga class, communities give you a sense of purpose and belonging that’s like gold for your heart. For those of us who can have a habit of sometimes prioritising others’ needs over our own, being part of a group can also remind us to take care of ourselves.
A study from Harvard found that women who participate in community activities, like volunteering or religious groups, have lower rates of heart disease, likely because these activities reduce stress and foster support.
These groups don’t just provide emotional support; they can also inspire healthy habits. Imagine joining a tennis club and picking up tips on heart-healthy snacks from your new friends, or swapping stress-busting strategies at a local beach clean-up day. Find a community that lights you up, and watch how it lifts your heart, too.
Navigating toxic relationships for a healthier heart
It’s a tricky one to face the music on sometimes, however not all relationships are good for your heart. Toxic friendships, strained family ties, or a draining partner can increase your stress and hurt your heart health.
Constant negativity or conflict can spike your cortisol levels, raise your blood pressure, and even lead to unhealthy coping mechanisms like over or undereating or skipping workouts. A friend was stuck in a toxic work environment, and her stress was through the roof until she set boundaries and eventually found a new job.
If someone in your life is consistently bringing you down, it’s ok to create distance or have an honest conversation. Protect your heart by surrounding yourself with people who lift you up, listen without judgment, and help you feel safe. It’s not selfish—it’s survival.
Practical tips for weaving nourishing connection into your busy life
Hmmmm – this all sounds great, however how do we fit it all in?
The reality is that building connections doesn’t have to be time-consuming or overwhelming.
Here are some practical, heart-healthy tips to find a way –
• Micro-moments matter – Send a quick text to a friend saying, ‘thinking of you!’ or share a lovely photo you took. These small gestures keep bonds strong
• Combine connection with self-care – Invite a friend for a walk or a yoga class—exercise and bonding in one
• Use technology wisely – Set up a weekly Zoom happy hour with faraway friends or join an online community for painting tips
• Prioritise one deep connection – Pick one person—a partner, a sibling, a bestie—and make time for a meaningful catch-up each week.
• Be vulnerable – Share your struggles with someone you trust; it deepens your bond and reduces your stress.
• Plan ahead – Schedule social time like it’s an appointment with your primary health care practitioner. Your heart deserves that slot in your calendar
These little steps add up, and before you know it, your social network will be as strong as your morning routine.
The intersection of social connection and other heart-healthy habits
Here’s the beautiful thing – social connections don’t just reduce stress—they can amplify your other heart-healthy habits. When you’re surrounded by supportive people on a similar path, you’re more likely to stick to a healthy diet, exercise regularly, and even quit smoking.
Think about it – if your friend invites you to a fermenting class, you’re more likely to trial new recipes. If your friend joins you for a morning run, you’re less likely to hit the snooze button. A study from the Journal of the American College of Cardiology found that socially connected people are more likely to maintain healthy behaviours, which directly lowers their heart disease risk. Plus, your friends can hold you accountable—gently, of course.
Cultural and gender differences in social connection
For those of us who are women, our social needs are unique, shaped by both biology and culture. We tend to thrive on emotional intimacy—those deep, heart-to-heart connections that have you feel seen.
However cultural expectations can complicate things. In some communities, women are expected to prioritise family over friendships, leaving little time for other personal connections. In others, stigma around mental health can make it hard to open up about stress.
For some, systemic stressors like discrimination can add an extra layer of strain, making supportive networks even more critical. A study from the American Psychological Association found that black women, for example, often rely on tight-knit community or church groups to cope with stress, which can help to lower their cardiovascular risk.
Whatever your background, nourish those connections that feel authentic to you, whether it’s a cultural group, a women’s circle, or a virtual community. Your heart doesn’t care where the love comes from—just that it’s there.
Taking charge of your heart and your connections
Your heart is your powerhouse, and your social connections are the fuel that keeps it running strong. In this world that’s dynamic and ever-changing, it can be challenging to maintain those bonds, however the science is clear – the people you surround yourself with can lower your stress, protect your heart, and add years to your life.
It’s worth making time for your people—whether it’s a quick kombucha date, a heartfelt phone call, or a group hike. Build a network that lifts you up, set boundaries with those who don’t, and be brave to seek out new connections that spark joy.
Your heart isn’t just a muscle; it’s a reflection of the love and support you cultivate.
It’s time for us to connect, laugh, cry, and love fiercely—our hearts will be thanking us for it.
See you on this week’s #AlivewithFi 🙂
1 Some interesting insights into the way social isolation can affect our health – https -//www.ahajournals.org/doi/10.1161/JAHA.122.026493
Fi Jamieson-Folland D.O., I.N.H.C., is The LifeStyle Aligner. She’s an experienced practitioner since 1992 in Europe, Asia and New Zealand as a qualified Osteopath, Integrative Nutrition Health Coach, speaker, educator, writer, certified raw vegan gluten-free chef, and Health Brand Ambassador.
